Family Law Blog

A Collection of Posts Discussing Such Topics as: Collaborative Divorce, Mediation, Family Law

Divorce with Love

The very notion of “Divorce with Love” may seem radical, perhaps even nonsensical. After all, love is difficult to define. Everyone has a different view of what it means to love another, and each of us fails to live up to our ideals, at least some of the time, particularly in our most intimate relationships. […]

Common Themes in Alternative Dispute Resolution

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) is the term used to describe various processes to resolve conflict peacefully. It applies to those couples who sit down across the kitchen table and come up with their own agreement, to those who reach settlement with the help of a mediator, and to those who get there through the collaborative […]

Why You Should Want Your Attorney to Play Nicely

Divorce clients, being unfamiliar with litigation, often arrive in my office convinced that the best attorney is the most aggressive, even the nastiest, lawyer they can find. In my experience this is rarely true. Attorneys who play well together can help their clients resolve cases efficiently, by which I mean obtaining the best possible result […]

The Range and Breadth of Mediation

These Articles were published in the Whatcom County Bar Journal. Though written for the legal community, I’ve linked these articles because mediation is a broad field containing a whole range of styles and approaches that differ enormously. The style selected can have a huge impact on the likelihood of achieving settlement, the quality of settlement […]

Anatomy of a Happy Ending

Following is an anecdote from a real dissolution of marriage. It’s intended to illuminate the way a mediated or collaborated case can unfold when all goes well. In the context of my last three-part article on the various approaches to mediation, what’s set forth below is an essentially transformative model. All three of the approaches […]

A Letter to My Bellingham Colleagues

The February, 2012 issue of the Whatcom County Bar Association Newsletter contained the following article that I was an invited to pen as a means of introducing myself to the Bellingham legal community. It’s republished here so that clients and potential clients can get a better sense of who I am and my views on […]

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

Right up front I want to establish that I’m neither a therapist nor a marriage counselor. I claim no particular expertise in relationship. I’m simply an attorney and mediator who has worked with hundreds of couples. Over the years, I’ve observed some subset of what works and what doesn’t when it comes to reconciliation. What […]

The Miracle of Conflict

Over the years, while learning to help people navigate through conflict, I discovered something really cool. Most of us do what we can to avoid disagreements. It’s unpleasant to argue. But if one can be present, there are huge gifts to be found. When we’re upset, we have the opportunity to discover much of importance […]

When its Necessary to Go to Court

If you’ve read through my website, you’re no doubt familiar with my philosophy that disputes are best resolved through non-adversarial means. But resolving conflict amicably requires that each spouse be willing and able to act in good faith. If, for instance, your spouse is hiding assets or income, running up debts or deliberately turning the […]